The Problem of Death I
February 5, 1915
Dornach
In these days when
death is so constantly a source of pain, I want to deal
with certain aspects of Spiritual Science in connection
with the problem of death. Today I shall give a kind of
introduction to these problems; tomorrow I shall go more
closely into the subject and on Sunday pass over from these
problems to more general questions of the artistic
conception of Life. This will then lead us back to matters
connected with our Building.
Manifold indeed are
the connections within which we are placed in life. Just as
the life before birth is a preparation for its reflection
in this life, so this reflection between birth and death is
a preparation for the spiritual life which comes
afterwards, between death and a new birth. The more we are
able to carry over from this life into the life between
death and a new birth, the richer may be the development in
that life; for the actual concepts which must be acquired
of that life, the concepts of the truths of existence
between death and a new birth must be very different from
the concepts we must acquire of earthly Maya if we want to
understand this Maya. Some of the necessary concepts will
be found in the lecture-course given last year in Vienna.
(The Inner Life of Man between Death and a New birth.)
You will find there what new concepts must be
acquired for understanding the other side of man's life
which takes its course between death and a new birth. It is
often exceedingly difficult to work out the concepts and
ideas that are applicable to this other kind of life, and
in reading such a lecture-course you will realise that it
has been a question of wrestling for terms which in some
way give expression to these totally different
conditions.
At this time
especially when the deaths of very dear Members are
occurring in our anthroposophical life, I want to call
attention to the following. —
The part played in the
life between death and a new birth by the moment of death
is different from the part that is played by the moment of
birth in our present life between birth and death. The
moment of birth is that point which, in ordinary
circumstances, is not remembered by the human being. In
Ordinary life, birth is not remembered. But the moment of
death is the point which leaves behind it the very deepest
impression for the whole of life between death and a new
birth; it is the point that is remembered most of all; in a
certain sense it is always there, but in a quite different
form from that in which it is seen from this side of life.
From this side of life, death appears to be a dissolution,
something in face of which the human being has a ready fear
and dread. From the other side, death appears as the
light-filled beginning of experience of the Spirit, as that
which spreads a sun-radiance over the whole of the
subsequent life between death and a new birth; as that
which most of all warms the soul through with joy in the
life between death and a new birth. The moment of death is
something that is looked back upon with a deep sense of
blessing. Described in earthly terms: the moment of death,
viewed from the other side, is the most joyful, the most
enrapturing point in the life between death and a new
birth.
If, out of
materialism, we have pictured that the human being loses
consciousness with death, if we can form no true idea of
the continuation of consciousness — (I emphasize this
today because the incentive is community with dear ones who
have recently gone away from us through death.) if it is
difficult to picture that consciousness exists beyond
death, if we believe that consciousness is darkened (as
appears to be the case after death) — then we must
realise: it simply is not true. The truth is that the
consciousness is excessively bright and it is only
because the human being is still unaccustomed, during the
very first period after death, to live within this
excessively clear consciousness, that there sets in, to
begin with, immediately after death, something like a kind
of sleep.
This state of sleep,
however, is the very opposite of the state of sleep through
which we pass in ordinary life. In ordinary life we sleep
because consciousness is dimmed; after death we are, in a
certain sense, unconscious because the consciousness is too
strong, too forceful; because we live wholly in
consciousness. And what we have to do during the first days
is to live over into this condition of excessive
consciousness. We have to find our bearings and orientation
within this condition of superabundant consciousness. When
we succeed in so finding our bearings that, as it were, out
of the fullness of the cosmic thoughts, we feel: thou
wast that ... the moment when, out of the fullness of
the cosmic thoughts, we begin to distinguish our past
earth-life within this abundance of consciousness, then the
moment is experienced of which we can say: we
awaken. It may be that we are awakened by an event
that has been particularly significant in our earthly life
and is also significant in the happenings after our earthly
life.
It is, therefore, a
process of getting accustomed to the supersensible
consciousness, to the consciousness that does not rest upon
the foundation and support of the physical world, but that
is working and active in itself. This is what we
call the “Awakening” after death. This
awakening consists in the will stretching out to
find its bearings, the will, which as you know and can
realise from the lecture-course already mentioned, may
unfold strongly after death. I spoke of will that is
coloured by feeling,
of feeling that is coloured by will: when this life of
feeling that is coloured by will stretches out to find its
bearings in the supersensible world, when the first sally
is made, then the awakening has come.
If we want to think of
the experiences that are connected with the problem of
death, we must realise, above all, that the real
being, the being who rules and weaves within man, is
profoundly unknown to him. This true being is not only
unknown in respect of the deeper side of a man's own hidden
existence, but it is unknown too, in respect of many things
that play very significantly indeed into the experiences of
everyday life. We must be absolutely clear that even with
the most important instruments of knowledge we possess for
the physical world — with the senses — we look
almost entirely from outside, and that in this looking from
outside, what may be called our skin shuts us off from
beholding our real, true being. As soon as we begin to
judge of our true being, as soon as we try to form a
picture of this true being, we are obliged to apply our
intellect, our power of forming mental images. In the
course of our development within the physical body,
however, both these faculties are strongly influenced from
the Ahrimanic as well as from the Luciferic side; and the
nature of all these influences that are exercised from the
Ahrimanic and Luciferic sides upon our intellect, in so far
as it is bound to the brain, is such, that they are able in
the highest degree to cloud the judgment we form about our
own being.
All self-knowledge is
really comparable with the extreme case I quoted in the
last lecture, of the university professor who himself tells
the story of how, in his youth, he crossed the street and
suddenly saw coming towards him a young man with a
dreadfully unsympathetic face; he tells of the shock he
received when he realised that he was seeing himself
through two mirrors that were revealing his own
physiognomy, as if it were coming towards him. This shows
that he had no inkling of his external appearance, which
was exceedingly unsympathetic to him: I have told you how
he narrates a second similar instance. But really it is no
different with what we call our more intimate
self-knowledge. Our Ego and astral body which set out on
the journey through the worlds when the date of Death has
been passed — these members of our being are removed
from our sphere of observation during physical life, for
when we wake from sleep the Ego and astral body are not
revealed to us. They are not revealed to us in their true
form but in such a way that they are mirrored by the
pictures of the Ego and astral body that are sketched by
the etheric body and physical body. Between sleeping and
waking we should be able to see our astral being and our
Ego in their true form if we were not in the unconscious
condition of sleep. The dreams, too, which occur in
ordinary life are only faulty interpreters of our real
being, because they are, after all, reflections of what
goes on in the astral body around the etheric body, and
because it is essential, first, to understand the language
of dreams if we are to get at their correct meaning.
If we understand the language of dreams, we can,
certainly, acquire knowledge about our true being from the
processes of dream. But in ordinary life we are accustomed
simply to accept the pictures presented by the dream. This,
however, is no more sensible than if we were simply to
follow the signs of printed letters and not really read at
all.
Our true being is
withdrawn from us during life between birth and death. We
must realise here that in our astral body — and in
our Ego too — there lie all those feelings and all
those stirrings of will which lead us to our actions, to
our deeds, but also to our judgments, to our conceptions of
things in the world. There, in the depths of our being,
there at the seat of our astral body and our true
“I”, we have a whole world of emotions, a whole
world of feelings, of impulses of will; but what we form in
everyday life as our own view of these emotions, impulses
of will and feelings, stand mostly — mostly,
I say — in a very distant connection with what we
truly are, in our innermost being.
Take the following
case — It may happen in life that two people live
together for a long time and that through the strange
forces playing out of the unknown regions of the astral
body and Ego of the one person into the astral body and Ego
of the other (these forces remain in the hidden regions),
the one has in relation to the other a real desire for
torment, a kind of need for cruelty. It may be that the one
person who has this desire for torment, this need for
cruelty, has no inkling whatever of the existence of these
emotions in the astral body and Ego; he may build up about
the things he does out of this urge to cruelty, a whole
number of ideas which explain the actions on quite other
grounds. Such a person may tell us that he has done this or
that to the other person for one reason or another; these
reasons may be very clever and yet they do not express the
truth at all. For in ordinary life, what we all-too-often
picture as the motives of our own actions, indeed of our
own feelings, frequently stands, as I say, in a very, very
distant connection with what is really living and weaving
in our inner being. It may be that the Luciferic power is
actually preventing the person concerned from realising the
nature of this urge for cruelty, of these impulses to do
all kinds of things to the other person, and that under the
influence of this Luciferic power everything he says about
the reasons merely spreads a cover over what is actually
present in the soul. The reasons we devise in our
consciousness may often be cut out for hiding from us,
disguising what is actually living and working in the soul.
These reasons are too often of a character which indicates
a desire for self-justification, for we should find
ourselves just as antipathetic as the professor of
philosophy of whom I told you. We should not at all like
what is in our soul if we had to acknowledge what kind of
instincts and emotions are really holding sway. And because
we have to protect ourselves from the sight of our own
soul-being, we discover, with the help of these reasons,
all kinds of things that guarantee us protection, because
they deceive us about what is actually the ruling force in
the soul. Just as it is true that the external world
becomes a Maya to us because of the peculiar character of
our faculty to form mental pictures, it is also true that
what we have to say about ourselves in ordinary life is, to
a very, very great extent, Maya.
Certain instincts and
needs of our innermost being in particular mislead us into
constantly deceiving ourselves about our own being. Take
the case of a person who is terribly vain, who suffers from
a form of megalomania. Such people are by no means few in
number. This is admitted. If, however, as described above,
a mask were not laid over what really is in the
soul, it would be much more generally admitted that vanity
and megalomania exist in many souls who have not the very
slightest inkling that it is so.
Megalomania gives rise
to many wishes ... but when I say ‘wishes’, you
must understand what I mean. — the wishes do not
become conscious, they remain wholly in the depths. Such a
person may wish to exercise a controlling influence upon
someone else, but because he would have to admit that this
desire for control over the other is born of vanity and
megalomania, he will not admit it. He then appeals —
unconsciously of course, — to those powers of
seduction which Lucifer is able to exercise all the time
upon the human soul. And under the unconscious influence of
Lucifer, such a person never gets to the point of saying to
himself: ‘What I have in me, producing the desire for
action, is really vanity, megalomania.’ He never says
this, but on the contrary, he will often discover, under
the influence of Lucifer, a whole system for explaining the
feelings of which he is darkly aware but the true character
of which he will not admit. He may have certain feelings
for some other person but he cannot acknowledge them,
because what he really wants is to control this other
person and he is unable to do so because this other person,
perhaps, will not allow himself to be controlled. Then,
under the influence of Lucifer the soul discovers a system,
discovers that the other person is planning something
malicious; the first person then proceeds to paint a mental
picture of the details that are being planned against him;
he finally feels that he is being persecuted. The whole
system of judgments and ideas is a mask that is there
merely for the purpose of covering with a veil what must be
prevented from emerging out of the inner life of soul.
— It is a real Maya.
In connection with a
series of actions, a man once said to me that he had done
them out of an iron sense of duty, out of infinite devotion
to the cause he represented. I was bound to say to him in
reply: “The opinion you have about the motives of
your procedure and of your actions is no criterion
whatever. Only reality is the criterion, not the opinion
one may have. The reality shows that the impulse, the urge
to these actions was to gain influence in a certain
direction.” I said to the man quite baldly:
“Although
you believe that you are acting out of an iron sense of
duty, you are really acting under the impulse to acquire
influence and you misinterpret this way of acting as being
selfless, done purely out of a sense of duty. You are not
acting out of this motive but because it pleases
you to act so, because it brings you certain pleasure
— again, therefore, out of a certain inner
impulse.”
Our opinion, our
mental picture of ourselves may be extremely complicated;
it may not resemble in the very remotest degree what is
really dominating and weaving in the soul. it may be
extremely complicated. You will admit at once that such
things must be known when it is a question of living in a
world of truth and not in a world of Maya; you will also
admit at once that it is necessary now and then to speak of
such things in a radical way! The reasons which as genuine,
true reasons, drive us to our actions, can only become
clear to us slowly and by degrees, when through Spiritual
science, we really have knowledge of the secret connections
existing between the human being and the world.
Let us take a definite
case, — You will all know that there are people in
the world who are called gossips, chatterboxes. If we ask
these chatterboxes why they flock together in their cafes
or elsewhere and talk, talk, talk, talk (they often talk a
great deal more than they can answer for,) we shall hear
many reasons why it is necessary for them to
discuss this, that or the other. We can get to know people
whom we then meet rushing along the street, hurrying
somewhere or other in order to arrive quickly ... and when
we find out what they are after, we discover that it is
nothing but the most futile, useless, silliest chatter. If
such people are asked about their reasons, they will give
reasons which often sound exceedingly laudable and fine,
whereas the most that can be said is that these reasons are
well able to conceal the real facts of the case. And now we
will consider these “real facts of the
case.”
What is happening when
we gossip or chatter? (when we speak, it is, of course, the
same.) What is happening? Through our organs of breathing
and speech we set the air into movements which correspond
with the forms of the words. We generate in ourselves those
physical waves — and naturally the corresponding
ether-waves too, for when we speak something very
significant is happening in the etheric body — we
generate these waves in the air and ether which corresponds
with our words, which give expression to our words. Picture
it quite precisely to yourselves: While you are sitting
there — no, pardon me, not you! —
while a man is chattering with his cup of coffee before him
on the table, he is bringing his whole inner organism into
movement, that inner organism which corresponds with the
form of expression, with the external physical and etheric
form of expression of his words. Something is actually
welling up and weaving in him; he generates this in
himself, but he also is aware of it, he feels it. He feels
this self-movement of the physical and etheric bodies
because the astral body and the Ego are continually coming
up against it. The astral body is continually coming up
against the ether-waves and becoming aware of them; and the
Ego is continually coming into contact with the physical
waves of the air; so that while we are speaking, astral
body and Ego are continually contacting something, touching
something. in this contact, in this impact, we become aware
of our Ego and of our astral body, and the most agreeable
sensation the human being can have is that of
self-enjoyment. when the astral body and the Ego contact
the etheric body and the physical body in this way, the
process is similar to what happens on a small scale when a
child licks a sweet — for the pleasurable sensation
in licking the sweet consists in the fact that the astral
body is coming into contact with what is happening in the
physical body, and the human being becomes aware of himself
in this way. He becomes aware of himself, has
self-enjoyment in this process. Those who sit down at a
table in a cafe in order to gossip and chatter for an hour
or two, simply hurry there to find self-enjoyment. It is
self-enjoyment that is being sought in such cases.
We cannot become aware
of these things if we do not know that man's being is
fourfold and that all the four members are involved in
every activity in the external world.
There are other,
different examples. From the example of chattering we have
seen how the human being has the urge to self-enjoyment
caused by the impact of his astral body and Ego upon the
etheric body and the physical body. But he also, frequently
feels the need for his astral body merely to contact the
etheric body, just the etheric body. In order that the
astral body may contact the etheric body, this etheric body
must produce movement, it must produce inner activity.
These processes go on even more in the subconsciousness
than do other processes. There is an impulse in the human
being, of which he is not conscious, to make an impact with
his astral body upon his etheric body. This impulse lives
itself out in very curious ways. We find that certain young
men — and in recent times young ladies too —
simply cannot rest until what they write is printed. People
sometimes find it exceedingly pleasant to see their
writings in print, but it is pleasant chiefly because they
succumb to the worst possible illusion, namely, to the
illusion that what is printed is also read: It is by no
means always the case that writings are read when they are
printed, but it is at least believed that they are, and
this is an exceedingly pleasant sensation. Many young men
and, as I say, many young ladies too, simply cannot bear
it, they are constantly on edge ... until their writings are
printed. What does this mean?
It means this, —
When writings are printed and actually read — which
happens in the rarest cases today — when writings are
printed, our thoughts pass over into other human beings,
live on in other human souls. These thoughts live in the
etheric bodies of the other human beings. But in
us the idea takes root: ‘The thought you
yourself had in your etheric body is now living out there
in the world.’ We have the feeling that out there in
the world our own thoughts are living. If the thoughts are
really living in the world, if they are actually present
there — in other words, if our printed writings are
also read — then this exercises an influence upon our
own etheric body and we impact what is living out there in
the world. Inasmuch as it is living in our own etheric
body, an impact takes place with our own astral body. This
is quite a different impact from when we merely impact our
own thoughts; the human being is not always strong enough
to do this, because these thoughts must be called forth
from the inner being by dint of energy. But when the
thoughts are living in the world, when we can have the
consciousness that our own thoughts are living out there in
the world, then our astral body — to the best of our
belief at least — comes into contact with a part of
ourselves that is living in the outside world. This is the
supreme self-enjoyment. But this form of self-enjoyment
lies at the basis of all seeking for fame, all seeking for
recognition, all seeking for authority in the world. At the
root of this impulse for self-enjoyment there lies nothing
else than a need to impact with our astral body objective
thoughts of our etheric body, and in the impact to become
aware of ourselves. You see what a complicated process
between astral body and etheric body lies at the root of
things that play a certain role in the outer world.
Naturally these things
are not said for the purpose of making moral judgments into
scarecrow. They are not of this nature at all, for
everything that has been mentioned belongs to the category
of characteristics that are quite normal in life. When we
speak, it is absolutely natural that there should be
self-enjoyment — even when speaking does not consist
in gossiping. It is quite natural too that when we allow
something to be printed, not out of thirst for fame but
because we feel it a duty to say something to the world,
— that then too we impact the thoughts of our etheric
body; in such a case the same process is at work. We must
not draw the conclusion that these processes are always to
be shunned, always to be regarded as something lacking in
morality, — for I simply mean them to be taken in a
symbolic sense. If the human being were to flee from
everything that presses in upon him from the side of
Lucifer and Ahriman, he would have to come out of his skin
as soon as he realised it — I mean this symbolically
too: Lucifer and Ahriman exercise no other forces upon us
than those that are justified, normal forces in human life;
only it is the case that Lucifer and Ahriman put them into
operation in the wrong place. I have said this in different
lecture-courses.
If you think of all
these things you will perceive the infinite variety and
complexity of those threads in life which play over from
human soul to human soul and again outwards from the human
soul into the world. How infinitely complicated it all is
but at the same time you will realise how little, how very
little real knowledge the human being derives from what he
perceives and pictures concerning his relations to other
human beings and to the world. The picture we have of
ourselves is only a tiny fragment drawn from what we
experience. And this picture, to begin with, is Maya. Only
when we make Spiritual Science into an actual asset of
life, not into mere theory, do we really get behind Maya
and reach some enlightenment upon what is actually going on
within us. But things do not change by our possessing a
tiny and mostly untrue fragment of the web in which we are
involved in relation to the world; the things are as they
are. All these hidden forces, this hidden web from soul to
soul, from the human being to the various agents of the
world — it is all there, and every minute of sleeping
and waking life it is playing into the human soul. You will
be able to judge from this how much has to be done in order
to reach a true knowledge of the being of man.
Studies of this kind
have to do with those shades of feeling which are requisite
for a true experience of what belongs, not to earthly
incarnation, but to eternity. For by unfolding such shades
of feeling we become aware of the basis of the conflicts
which appear in life. These conflicts that are brought by
life and rightly become subjects for treatment in
literature and the other arts, are due to the fact that
there is an unknown, hidden ocean of will in which
we are swimming in life, and that only a tiny fragment
— mostly distorted at that — comes into our
consciousness. But we cannot live in accordance with this
tiny fragment; we must live with our whole soul in
accordance with the great and manifold ramifications which
exist in life. And this brings the conflicts. How can the
tiny fragment that is also in many cases distorted, how can
this tiny fragment come into a true relationship to human
life, how can it really understand what is actually going
on in human life: Because it is incapable of this, the
human being inevitably comes into conflict with life. But
where reality is in play, there too is truth. Reality does
not direct itself according to the pictures we take of it.
And the moment there is opportunity for it reality
pitilessly corrects the Maya of our ideas. And this kind of
corrective which reality bestows upon the Maya of our
ideas, supplies most significant material for treatment in
art, in poetry.
In pursuance of the
line of thought contained in this lecture, I want now to
start from a point that is connected with a work of art; in
the lecture tomorrow we shall pass on to a study of the
life between death and a new birth, and then on Sunday to a
theme dealing with art in connection with our building. I
do not want to start from a work of art chosen at random
but from something that gives a very concrete picture of
what I shall present to you as knowledge of the reality of
the spiritual life. The reason for choosing this particular
example is that, for once, reality has been hit upon in a
certain small, but excellent piece of writing. An occultist
alone is able to judge about the reality, but in this small
work we see how when the human being as a clairvoyant tries
to penetrate into the deeper problems of life, he simply
cannot avoid touching the occult sides of life, he cannot
avoid touching those depths which send their waves up into
the life we often pierce so shallowly with the Maya of our
thoughts. what I regard as important from the point of view
of art and of occultism really occurs only at the end of a
tale of which I want to speak merely as an example.
Therefore I shall merely give a brief outline of the tale
and read the concluding passage only. It is not a question
of speaking merely of a piece of literature but of speaking
of this particular work, because here for once a writer has
presented something that might actually happen, in absolute
accordance with true occult laws.
As the tale was
written in the sixties of the 19th century, you will gather
from what I say, how what we speak of as Spiritual Science
has really always been prepared for and reflected in a
certain way in human consciousness. Unconsciously, at
least, in many a soul there has been reflected what must
enter into the culture of the Earth and become more fully
conscious through Spiritual Science. It may be that such a
soul actually knew something about this, but the time was
not ripe for voicing this knowledge in a form other than
the unpretentious form of literature. At the present day
people are much more ready to condone the introduction of
occult truths in the form of stories or poems ... in the age
of materialism they are much more ready to condone this
than they will condone somebody who comes out with the
direct truth and declares that such things are realities.
If people can say to themselves: “Well, after all,
this is only romance,” they will often accept it. The
tale that was written in the sixties of last century is
more or less as follows. —
It is written as if
one of the characters were narrating it himself; it is a
“first person” story, as we say. This character
tells of his acquaintance with Mlle. de Gaussin in Paris
(which is the scene of the tale). He tells how at a certain
period he paid daily visits to the house of this Mlle. de
Gaussin who is a much-feted singer; he gets to know all
kinds of people who are admirers of the lady of the house
— among them a man who is practically always to be
found in Mlle.de Gaussin's salon. The narrator perceives
that the feelings of this other man for her are more than
mere friendship, and he also realises that these feelings
are not reciprocated by the singer. Everything that happens
results in a conflict. — There is a man who ardently
loves the singer; his love is not returned, but he is not
actually rejected; in reality he is brought nearer and
nearer to her, but as a result of this he becomes more and
more restless and inwardly shaken.
The narrator of the
story (it is, as I say a ‘first person’ tale),
notices all this. He is friendly with the other, and as he
(the narrator) is engaged and is to be married during the
next few weeks, it is quite natural, as the other man is
also friendly with him, that there is no question of
jealousy. One day the narrator has it all out with the
other man whose eyes are then opened and he feels bound to
have a talk with the singer. The result of this talk is
that he goes no more to the house — but, although he
has promised not to think about the lady any more, and to
forget her, he is incapable of seriously turning his mind
to other things, of getting rid of his inner restlessness;
the thoughts that were there during his friendship with the
lady keep on returning. He leaves the town and lives away
for a time. During this period the narrator of the story
has married and has been obliged to go on a journey. On
this journey he meets the other man in a hotel, in a
pitiful state. The other man tells him how he has left
Paris and how he tried for a time to live alone; how he
went for a ride one day outside his estate and had the
ill-luck to come across the lady with her traveling company
who were also away from Paris; how all his feelings came to
life again and how he now goes about with two revolvers in
order one day to put an end to his life.
The narrator still has
kindly feelings towards the other man and invites him to
his new home, hoping to get him to think of other things.
The man accepts the invitation which is just the thing to
provide him with a sympathetic milieu as a guest; but he
simply cannot get hold of himself, he gets more and more
depressed, and finally reaches the point where he has
resolved to commit suicide. The two friends have a talk
together and the narrator succeeds in getting the other to
promise that he will defer his intention. The narrator says
that he himself has to go away and because he does not want
to say: ‘wait until I come back’ —
fearing that the other might not wait but might shoot
himself in the meantime — he gets the other to make
him a solemn promise. He says: “Look after my wife
until I get back.”
When the other man has
given the promise, the narrator goes off to Paris with the
idea of asking the singer to come to the country and do
something to make the situation less miserable. He reaches
Paris and travels back with the singer to the country. They
get to the hedge around the narrator's country estate. At
this moment the narrator notices that a man who had been
standing at the hedge, has run back. As they approach,
there is a shot. The other man had kept his promise, had
faithfully looked after the wife, but had sent a peasant to
keep watch at the hedge. The peasant signals: ‘Now he
is coming’ — and then the man shoots himself.
The narrator brings the singer into the house — and
from this point I will read you the words themselves.
[“Tales” by Herman Grimm:
“The Singer.”]
“We reached the chateau in the evening. When I got
to the park, a peasant who was waiting for us ran with
lightning speed towards the house, and hardly had we got
half-way up the avenue, than a shot rang out. So set was
I upon the success of my project that the meaning of this
shot never entered my head. Amazement was not long to be
withheld from me; we went on; nobody came out; the driver
cracked his whip and I sprang out, Mlle. de Gaussin after
me. The first thing we heard was a scream from my wife's
maid who came towards us deathly white, with the cry:
‘He has shot himself dead’. We hurried to the
Marquess' room which was full of people; I sent them all
out, shut the door and stood with Manon de Gaussin beside
the young man's body which lay on the ground. She stared
at it for some minutes, then gave a scream and sank to
the ground on her knees beside the body. She did not
faint. She took his hands, laid hers on his forehead (the
wound was in the middle of the chest), looked at me, then
at him, and suddenly began to sing in a loud voice. This
filled me with dread; I thought she had lost her reason.
Meanwhile one of my agents who knew a little about
first-aid and was accustomed to render simple medical
assistance, had arrived. I shall never forget the fear
that came over his face when he saw the dead Marquess and
the singer beside him. She was now silent, stood up,
looked at me a long time and left the room. I followed to
find out what she might want. She said: ‘I must
have a room in which I am quite alone.’ I led her
to the first good room, sent to fetch her maid and
hurried to my wife. I heard to my relief that she had
gone for a walk; I went to meet her and told her what had
happened. As we had often talked about the Marquess and
had anticipated the possibility of an end like this, she
was less shocked than troubled. I led her back to the
chateau and proceeded to give orders about the Marquess.
The body had been placed on the bed and his servant was
sitting by it, weeping bitterly. He said: ‘My
master told me that he must not shoot himself until you
had returned. This reassured me. Then he arranged
secretly with the man John that he should wait for the
carriage. The man did this and had hardly run back with
the news that the carriage had entered the park than my
master stood up, made a mark in the book he was reading,
put his hand in his pocket, gave John a coin, took the
pistol from the table and went into the other room; the
moment he had closed the door behind him, he was
dead.’
I began to reproach myself. Perhaps I might have been
able to save him if I had acted more quickly. If Manon de
Gaussin had arrived at the right moment this tragedy
might, possibly, have been avoided. And I also thought:
Perhaps providence has wished to protect him from
something that would have been still worse, if the singer
had decided to marry him, as I believe she would have
done, — although she told me only afterwards that
the disastrous consequences of such a step would have
been unendurable and would simply have brought misery.
I went to Manon de Gaussin. She was calm and collected.
There was nothing very unusual about her. She talked to
me about the Marquess's frame of mind and his natural
disposition towards such a sad ending of his life. So
calm and collected was she that I felt the inner shock
must have been very great, and I feared the reaction. I
introduced her to my wife; we dined together and then
retired.
The next morning I was struck by the change that had come
over her. She said she felt well, but there was something
so strained about her appearance, and in herself she
seemed so broken, that her statement belied itself. She
talked about leaving soon and asked if she might be given
a different room for that night. This was arranged; we
spent the day quietly and she only went to bed when all
arrangements for her departure had been completed.
The next day she did not come down to breakfast. her maid
asked me to go to her mistress in her room. She received
me with a faint smile and was so pale and hollow-eyed
that I could not conceal my amazement.
‘Dear friend,” she said, “You find me
looking ill and don't want to say so?’
‘Don't you think that is natural?’
‘Yes, you are always full of feeling, reserved. But
no secrecy helps now. I feel death within me.’
‘Dearest friend!’ — I cried out in
dismay.
‘I feel death; for two nights now I have seen the
Marquess — awake — coming here — he is
drawing me to him!’
I looked at her attentively. There was no over-strain in
her eyes, nothing maniacal in her voice.
She went on: ‘When I saw him lying there in his
blood, the feeling that I was the cause of this tragedy
became so strong in me that I cried out because I could
bear it no longer. It was as though something were
shouting with unbelievable strength into my ears:
“You are guilty: You have killed
him!” In order not to hear this voice I began to
sing louder and louder, but yet I did not deafen the
voice. I heard it unceasingly. During the night I could
not sleep, I lay and looked at the shadows cast by the
furniture in the light of the lamp. Then the door sprang
open. A narrow, dark streak appeared. Through this streak
the Marquess entered, as it were through a thread of
cloud as thin as paper; his eyes were closed, he hovered
or came slowly towards me, stood beside the bed, as
corporeal as you, and with closed eyes. I did not want to
look at him but he forced me to do so; I was compelled to
turn my eyes towards him. Then he suddenly opened his and
looked at me. I could not bear it, and I lost
consciousness. Last night it was the same. I can bear it
no longer. I feel that he is sucking the life out of me
with his eyes.’
I tried with all the arguments of physics, philosophy and
religion to get her to dismiss the phenomenon from her
mind. She remained resolute ... ‘I am determined to
go away,’ — she said. ‘Perhaps his
shade is fettered only to this house.’ I opposed
this. I could not allow her to travel alone and I could
not leave my wife who was expecting her confinement. I
therefore proposed to Manon de Gaussin that she should
move into my agent's house and I promised to watch by her
bed the next night. She finally let herself be persuaded
into this, got up and walked around the room like a
wraith.
In the evening when she had gone to bed, her maid called
me to her. I put a table with night-lights near the bed,
with a screen around it, and after talking to her for a
little, began to read a book. She seemed to be sleeping;
the lights burnt badly. I cleaned them, drank some wine
and water and looked at the door. Suddenly — it was
made of wood and was not firm — it sprang open; the
catch may not have been working. I was about to go over
softly and shut it noiselessly when, turning to Manon de
Gaussin, I saw her sitting upright in bed with staring
eyes. She stretched out her arms towards mine and pointed
straight in front of her with her finger:
‘There he comes!’
There was absolutely nothing to be seen.
‘Where?’ I said.
I released myself from her and went to the corner.
‘Here?’
‘Come,’ she screamed, ‘he is standing
in front of you!’
With one leap I was by her side.
‘Hold my eyes closed, I cannot bear it he is
standing there, he is touching your knee!’
I pressed both her hands over her eyes. She breathed with
effort, but there was nothing to be seen.
After a while she took her hands away. ‘I must see
if he is still there’, she said softly.
‘Dear friend there is nothing here,’ I
answered, and released her. She looked around.
‘He has gone away again: O, if he comes once again
it will be better for him. We will slip through the doors
together.’
This idea made me shudder. She lay back and declared that
the next day she would certainly go away into a convent.
I tried to talk her out of this.
‘Go to Paris,’ I said — ‘You will
forget there.’
She interrupted me. — ‘I have deserved it; I
have also deserved that you should make such a proposal
to me. That I shall never forget! Him perhaps I shall
forget, if he ceases to torment me, but my guilt —
that is fast smelted!’
‘Your guilt amounts to nothing,’ I said.
‘That he loved you was destiny; the fact that you
did not love him was not in your power to change. That
you were able to believe you had cured him was only too
natural in his deranged state.’
‘O’ she cried, ‘can a mother who lets
her child fall into the water ever console herself? Do
you think that guilt is only constituted by evil intent?
If it were so, could one not wash away all regret with
the thought of higher necessity? If God makes us guilty,
it is also his will that we shall bear the consequences.
It has been decreed that I shall hear these chains
rattling to all eternity.’
I had soon exhausted my arguments. She left the chateau,
and I did not accompany her. The birth of a son tore me
away from all dark thoughts. I gave a feast in honour of
this joyful event; the christening, and care for my wife
took up my time so completely that everyone will
understand why I did not make enquires about the unhappy,
beautiful creature of whom, however, I thought from time
to time. One day I received a packet from Paris. It had
been addressed to me in the care of my business manager.
It contained a little case and a letter, both sealed. I
opened the letter first; there were only a few lines.
Dearest friend:
When you receive this I shall be dead. I knew that the
Marquess would call me to him. Although he came no more
to disturb my nights, I had some thing in my soul that
took the place of him. Tell your wife that I have no
pleasanter memory than that of her kindness to me. Guard
your son from people like me. Give me a quiet little
corner for the photograph enclosed. You need not break
the seal. I do not want to destroy it; it must not fall
into wrong hands. If you do look at it, think that
perchance, even I had a heart
Manon de Gaussin.
I opened the case and the face of the unhappy girl who
had announced her death to me in advance streamed out
with all the magic she had possessed in the days of her
prime. Tears started into my eyes and I thought of all
the happy hours I had spent in her house.
Here we have a true
description of the etheric body of a dead man appearing to
someone else. It is an absolutely true description.
Immediately after the death, Manon de Gaussin saw the
wandering etheric body of the dead man. I simply wanted to
show you how this phenomenon is treated in a story written
in the sixties of last century. It is the phenomenon of the
appearance of the etheric body of a dead man, and it can
teach us about the secret, hidden relationships that may
hold sway between human beings. We will pass on tomorrow to
further studies. Try to feel how behind what existed in
Manon de Gaussin's consciousness as a fragment of Maya, a
wide realm was playing, and how out of this wide realm, in
the hours she lived through directly after the Marquess'
death, a phenomenon appeared to her in the form of a
meeting with the etheric body of the dead man.
Truly, the etheric
body is more intimately connected with the manifold
circumstances in which we are interwoven within the
universe than the pictures we bear in our self-knowledge
and in our consciousness.
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