Lecture One
Cologne, Germany,
December 17, 1913
This evening and tomorrow I feel obliged to
speak to you of what we have become accustomed to call the
Mystery of Golgotha, but I will attempt to speak of it in a
somewhat different way than until now. What has been said
previously, although certainly esoteric, has had a more
esoteric-theoretical content. I have spoken about the essence
and significance of the Mystery of Golgotha for humanity. That
it is to a certain extent the central phenomenon for the whole
evolution of humanity on earth and to what extent it is the
central phenomenon has been considered. This has been taken
wholly from sources of occult investigation. The
thought-sources have been broached which stream out from the
Mystery of Golgotha and which develop and are living in our
earthly evolution. If human evolution on earth is observed from
a clairvoyant vantage point, the significance of the Mystery of
Golgotha can be grasped.
Now, however, I am obliged to speak more
concretely about the events which took place at the beginning
of our [Christian] era. I will speak of the events, the forces
which live on in the aura of the earth, and which may be
observed esoterically. Tomorrow I will speak of the reasons why
now, in our times, these things must be revealed within our
anthroposophical circles. Today I will try to indicate some of
the things that occurred in Palestine at the beginning of our
era. And I hope that in your hearts, in your souls, when the
event of Golgotha, which [until now] has been characterized
more in conceptual form, does not lose any of its significance
if we look directly and concretely at what happened at that
time.
In lecture cycles about the Gospels of Luke
and Matthew, I have already had the opportunity of speaking
about this subject. It is a fact that two Jesus children were
born at approximately the same time at the beginning of our
era. I pointed out that those two Jesus children were very
different as far as character and capabilities are concerned.
The Jesus very well described by the Gospel of Matthew
descended from the Solomon line of the House of David. In him
lived the soul, or the “I” of the person we know as
Zarathustra.
[Translator's note: In other places, Rudolf
Steiner went into more detail about the two Jesus Children. But
as his audience here was familiar with the subject, he only
gave a kind of resumé. For the interested readers I
suggest they compare the birth stories in the Gospels of
Matthew and Luke. They will note immediately that the
genealogies of the two boys are completely different from King
David to Joseph, the father of Jesus. They will also see that
in Luke there are shepherds and “no room at the
inn” and the famous stable where Jesus was born, and
there are no kings or magi. In Matthew the three kings/magi are
indeed an important presence. But they do not adore a
carpenter's son born in a stable. No, they have come to
Bethlehem to salute the new or future King of the Jews.
Although Matthew does not describe the birthplace, it is
unlikely to be a stable. The flight to Egypt does not occur in
Luke, only in Matthew, whose parents had more to fear, living
as they were with the future king. Furthermore it is most
strange that Jesus the carpenter's son was so well educated
that he could teach the rabbis in the temple. Ah, but that was
the Jesus according to Luke. The Jesus described by Matthew
descended from a royal family and would be in infinitely better
condition to do so. Taking all these things, and more, into
consideration, it can be considered obvious that there were
indeed two Jesus children.]
When we consider such an incarnation, we
must be especially clear about one thing: that even when such
an advanced individual, as Zarathustra certainly was, is again
incarnated — namely in the time he was born as Jesus — in no
way must he know in childhood or youth that he is that
individual. It is not necessary to be able to say: I am this
person or that person. That is not the case. It is, however,
true that in such cases the enhanced capacities gained by
having passed through such an incarnation become evident early
and thus define the child's character. So it was that the
Solomon Jesus child — as I would like to call him — in whom the
I of Zarathustra lived, was endowed with enhanced capabilities
which enabled him to easily absorb the culture and the
knowledge to which his earthly contemporaries had attained. In
that child's environment — especially in those times — existed
the whole cultural civilization of humanity in words, gestures
and deeds — in short, in all that could be seen and heard. A
normal child absorbed little of what he saw and heard. This
child, however, absorbed with great ease all the sparse
indications in which existed everything humanity had achieved
by then. In short, he proved himself to be greatly gifted at
absorbing all the available scholarly knowledge. Today we would
call such a child “highly gifted”. Up until his
twelfth year he quickly learned everything to be learned in his
environment.
The other Jesus was completely different.
His character is well reflected in the Gospel of Luke. He
descended from the Nathan line of the House of David. He had no
gift for scholarly learning, nor did he show interest in it up
until his twelfth year. On the other hand, he showed to a high
degree what we can call capacity of the heart, compassion for
all human happiness and suffering. He showed himself to be
especially capable in that he concentrated less on himself and
was less able to attain exterior knowledge. But from earliest
childhood on he felt the suffering and the joy of others as his
own suffering and his own joy. He could transpose himself into
the souls of others; he possessed this ability in the highest
degree. The Akasha Record indicates that the differences
between the two Jesus children could not have been
greater.
After both boys had reached their twelfth
year, an event occurred which I have often characterized: that
when the Nathan-Jesus traveled to Jerusalem with his parents,
the I of Zarathustra, which had been in the other, the
Solomon-Jesus, left his body and took possession of the Nathan
Jesus's physical, etheric and astral bodies. The result was,
therefore, that everything that this royal-I was capable of was
now active in the soul of the other, the Nathan-Jesus child.
And this boy, now possessing all of Zarathustra's power,
without knowing it, caused astonishment in the scholars among
whom he emerged teaching — as it is also described in the
Bible. I have also indicated how the other, the Solomon-Jesus,
from whom the I had departed, soon thereafter declined and,
after a relatively short time, died.
It must be understood that when the I of a
person leaves him — as was the case with the Solomon-Jesus
child — he does not necessarily die immediately. Just as a ball
continues to roll on for a time under its own inertia, so does
such a person continue to live on through the strength which
lives within him. Now someone who cannot observe human souls in
a precise way will notice little difference between a person
who has lost his I and a person who still has one. Because in
normal life the I in a person we are observing does not play
such a dominant role. What we experience in another person is
to a very small extent a direct manifestation of his I, but
rather the manifestation of his I through the astral body. That
other Jesus-child retained his astral body, however, and only
someone who can carefully distinguish — and it is not easy —
whether old habits and thoughts still continue to act in a
person or whether new elements are present, can thereby
determine if the I is still present or not. But a decline
begins, a kind of dying out, a withering away. And such was the
case with this Jesus boy.
Then, through a stroke of karma, the
biological mother of the Nathan-Jesus and also the father of
the Solomon-Jesus died soon after the passing over of the
Zarathustra-I from one boy to the other. And the father of the
Nathan-Jesus and the mother of the Solomon-Jesus became a
married couple. The Nathan-Jesus had no physical siblings, and
the step-siblings whom he now acquired were the siblings of the
Solomon-Jesus. From the two families one was formed, which
henceforth resided in the town now called Nazareth — so that
when we refer to the Nathan-Jesus, in whom the Zarathustra-I
lived, we use the expression: Jesus of Nazareth.
Today I would like to relate something
about the life of Jesus of Nazareth as a youth — from research
in the Akasha Record — in a way that enables you to understand
a certain important moment in the earth's evolution which the
Mystery of Golgotha had prepared.
For a seer the life of Jesus can be clearly
divided into three phases. The conversation with the scholars
in his twelfth year had already shown that he possessed an
inner capacity, provided by the passing over of the
Zarathustra-I, to be enlightened, to receive enlightenment and
to connect it with the capacities which lived in the soul of
Zarathustra. It was shown that an enormous force of inner
experience was in his soul, so that as he developed from his
twelfth to his seventeenth and eighteenth years it can be seen
how inner enlightenment became richer and richer, and
especially enlightenment related to the evolution of the
ancient Hebrews and the Hebrew people in general.
At the time Jesus lived in the Hebrew
people, the grandeur of what had existed as secrets of the
cosmos during the times of the ancient prophets was no longer
present. Many of the old revelations of the prophets lived on,
but the original capacity to receive spiritual secrets directly
from the spiritual world had faded out long before. They were
studied from the preserved scriptures. There were still some,
such as the famous
Rabbi Hillel,
who, because of his individual development was still
able to perceive something of what the ancient prophets had
proclaimed. But that force, which existed during the ancient
epoch of the Hebrew people, the time of the prophetic
revelations, was long since no longer present in those few
individuals. A decline in the spiritual development of the
Hebrew people was clearly apparent. Now, however, what had once
been revealed during the time of the prophets emerged from the
depths of Jesus of Nazareth's soul as inner
enlightenment.
But I wish to draw your
attention less to the historical fact that in one
person what had been revealed during the prophets' time
appeared again by means of inner enlightenment. I would rather
like to emphasize to you what it felt for such a relatively
young soul — the soul of the thirteen to fourteen year old
Jesus of Nazareth — to feel a revelation coming to him in total
isolation, a revelation which no one else in his surroundings
felt. At most the best of them perhaps had a dim glimmer of
it.
Try to imagine yourselves in such a
position, in the soul of someone possessing such great
knowledge alone, and understand that the Mystery of Golgotha
had to be prepared by such feelings of loneliness and isolation
taking possession of Jesus of Nazareth's soul. When you stand
alone on a psychic island as he did, who from his childhood on
had felt such solidarity with all men, but now did not feel
that he could share his knowledge with them because they had
sunken to a level where they could no longer receive the
revelation. He suffered greatly having to know something which
the others could not comprehend, but also wishing so strongly
that it could also arise in their souls that a mission was
being prepared.
All that gave him the fundamental impulse
to say: a voice resounds in me from the spiritual world. If
humans could hear it, it would provide an infinite blessing for
them. In olden times there were people who could hear it. Now,
however, they have no ears with which to hear. That pain of
solitude pressed ever deeper on his soul.
Such was Jesus of Nazareth's inner life
from his twelfth to his eighteenth year. For this reason he was
not understood by his biological father and his stepmother, and
even less so by his step-siblings, who often mocked him and
considered him half mad. He worked hard in his father's
carpentry. But while he was working the feelings I have just
described lived on in his soul.
Then, when he was around eighteen, he left
home to travel. He went through Palestine and the surrounding
pagan areas, working at his trade. He was led by his karma. As
he wandered through Palestine his extraordinary character was
seen by all the people he met. During the day he worked,
evenings he sat together with the people. And the people with
whom he sat from his nineteenth until around his twenty-fourth
year had the feeling, although they were not always conscious
of it, that he was an extraordinary individual, such a one as
they had never encountered before; they could not even have
imagined that such a one existed. They did not know what to
make of him.
If you wish to understand this, to
penetrate into the secrets of human evolution, it is necessary
to take into account that experiencing what the young Jesus of
Nazareth did — as I have just described — causes deep sorrow in
the soul. But this sorrow is transformed into love. And much
deep love in life is transformed sorrow of this
kind.
Deep sorrow, pain, has the capacity to
transform itself into love, which does not merely act like
ordinary love, but through the very existence of the loving
being streams out like far reaching auras. So those people who
were together then with Jesus believed that they were in the
presence of much more than a mere man. And when he had departed
from a place and they sat together evenings, they had the sense
of his real presence. They felt as though he were still there.
And it happened more and more that the people with whom he had
stayed, when they sat together around the table, had visions in
common. They saw him enter as a spirit-figure. Each one had
this vision at the same time, that Jesus was once again among
them, that he spoke with them, told them things just as he had
once done in physical form. He was visible among them long
after he had left. What caused this effect was pain and sorrow
transformed into love. The people with whom he was felt
themselves to be united with him in a special way. They felt
that they were never again separated from him. They felt that
he remained with them and that he always returned.
But he did not only travel around in
Palestine, his karma also led him to pagan places. (It would
take too long to describe here the reasons for his karma doing
this.) This was after he had recognized the declining
developments in Judaism. And he learned how in the religious
rituals of the pagans, just as in Judaism, what was originally
revelation had also died out. Thus in the second phase he had
to experience the decline of humanity from a previous spiritual
plateau. But he perceived how paganism declined differently
than Judaism.
His perception of Judaism's decline was a
more inner experience, gained by enlightenment. He saw how the
revelations from the spiritual world which were once proclaimed
by the prophets had ceased because there were no longer ears to
hear them. He learned about how it was with paganism in a place
where the ancient pagan religious services had fallen into
disrepair, and where the fall of paganism was physically
evident. The inhabitants of the place had fallen victim to
leprosy and other hideous diseases. Some had become malignant,
others lame. The priests abandoned them and had fled. When
Jesus was first seen, the news spread like wildfire that
someone very special had arrived. For now even in his outer
appearance he had achieved the transformed suffering which was
love. They saw that a being had come like none who had ever
walked on the earth. Soon the news spread and many came running
to him, for they thought a priest had been sent to them
who would again officiate at the
sacrifices. Their own priests had fled — so they came running.
The Akasha record shows this, just as I am describing
it.
He had no intention of officiating at the
pagan sacrifice. However, he now saw in vivid imaginations the
enigma of the decline of pagan spirituality. He could directly
perceive what had flowed into the secrets of the pagan
mysteries: that the forces of high divine beings had flown down
to the sacrificial altars. But now instead of the forces of the
good spirits streaming down, all kinds of demons, emissaries of
Lucifer and Ahriman, streamed down to the holy altars. He
perceived the fall of pagan spiritual life not by inner
enlightenment, as with Judaism, but through external
visions.
It is very different to get to know things
theoretically than to visualize how once divine-spiritual
forces flowed down to an altar and now demons did so, which
caused abnormal mental states, diseases and so forth. Such
spiritual visualization is quite different from knowing
something theoretically. But Jesus of Nazareth was to see this
in direct spiritual visualization, see how the emissaries of
Lucifer and Ahriman worked. He was to see how they did harm to
the people.
Suddenly he fell down as though dead.
Frightened, the people fled. But as he lay there as though
carried off to a spiritual world, he received an impression of
all the ancient revelations that had once been told to the
pagans. Therefore, just as he had perceived the secrets which
had been proclaimed to the old prophets and which were now not
even a shadow in Jewish culture, through spiritual inspiration
he was able to hear in which way they had been proclaimed to
the pagans.
The strongest impression made on him was
what I attempted to investigate, and what I spoke of for the
first time on the occasion of the foundation stone laying of
our building in Dornach. It could be called
The Reverse Our Father,
because it was the reverse of the substantial content of the
prayer the Christ Jesus' disciples attributed to him. Jesus of
Nazareth perceived something like a reverse Our Father, so
that he was able to feel in these words the secret of human
evolution and incorporations in earthly incarnations in a
concentrated format.
Amen,
Es walten die Übel,
Zeugen sich lösender Ichheit,
Von ändern erschuldete Selbstheitschuld,
Erlebet im täglichen Brote,
In dem nicht waltet der Himmel Wille,
Indem der Mensch sich schied von Eurem Reich
Und vergaß Euren Namen,
Ihr Väter in den Himmeln.
Amen,
Evil rules,
Witness of the dissolving I,
Selfhood's guilt to others attributed,
Experienced in daily bread,
In which heaven's will be not done,
For man deserted your kingdom
And forgot your names,
You fathers in the heavens.
That is — in stammering words — what
expresses something like the laws governing how human beings
incarnate from the macro-cosmos into the micro-cosmos. Since I
came to know these words, I have found them to be an
extraordinarily meaningful meditation form. They exercise a
force on the soul which is quite extraordinary, and the more
one studies them the more force they have. And then when one
tries to resolve and understand them one realizes that in them
the secret and destiny of humanity is condensed and how the
reversal of the words reveals how the microcosmic Our Father
which Christ proclaimed to his followers could
originate.
But Jesus did not only perceive this secret
of the original pagan revelations. When he awoke from the
vision, he learned from the fleeing people and the demons the
entire secrets of paganism. That was the second immeasurable
pain which sank into his soul. First he learned
decisively about the fall of Judaism by
recognizing what had been revealed to Judaism before its fall.
Now he learned the same about paganism. In this way he
consciously experienced the fact that in his surroundings the
people had to live in the sense of the words: “They have
ears but do not hear what the secrets of the cosmos are.”
Thus he attained to the unlimited compassion he had always felt
for humanity and can be expressed as follows: now that he could
see such things, humanity should receive the content of his
visions — but where were the beings who would communicate it to
humanity.
He had these experiences until his
twenty-fourth year, approximately. Then his karma led him back
home at the time his father died. He lived there with his
step-siblings and his foster or stepmother. Whereas his
stepmother previously had shown little understanding for him,
now she showed more understanding for the great pain he bore
within him. Then other experiences followed from his
twenty-fourth to his thirtieth year, during which he found ever
more understanding from his stepmother, although things were
still somewhat difficult. These were also the years in which he
came to know the Essenes better. Today I will only indicate the
main points of how Jesus learned of the Essene Order. This was
an order of men who separated themselves from the rest of
humanity and developed a special life of body and soul in order
to again ascend to the ancient revelations of the spirit which
humanity had lost. With strict exercises and strict ways of
life, the striving souls were to reach a stage where they could
reunite with the spiritual region from out of which the ancient
revelations had originated.
In this group Jesus of Nazareth also met
John the Baptist, although strictly speaking neither were
Essenes. The Akasha Record shows this clearly. But from what I
have explained it is clear that an exceptional person was
present who made an extraordinary impression on everyone. He so
impressed the Essenes that despite guarding their spiritual
activities as holy secrets, which they revealed to no outsider,
they willingly spoke with Jesus about important secrets of
their order concerning what they had achieved for their souls.
Thus Jesus learned that in those times there were still ways
for people to rise to the heights where humanity once sojourned
and from whence it had since descended.
But what also made a deep discomforting
impression on him was that an Essene, if he wished to ascend to
those heights, had to separate himself from humanity and live a
life outside the society of others. That was not the way of
universal human love, as Jesus of Nazareth felt it. He could
not tolerate that a spiritual wealth exist that is unavailable
to all, but only to a select few in detriment to humanity as a
whole.
What he felt can be expressed as follows:
They are a few individuals, and there will always be fewer who
find their way back to the ancient revelations, but it is just
when those few separate themselves that the rest must live in
decadence, for they must accomplish the material work for those
who are no longer there.
Once as he was leaving the Essene Order
community he saw in spirit two figures fleeing from the gate.
He had the impression that the Essenes protected themselves
from these two figures, whom we call Lucifer and Ahriman in
anthroposophical terms, driving them away by means of their
spiritual exercises, their ascetic way of life and the strict
rules of their order. Nothing of Lucifer and Ahriman should
touch their souls. Therefore Jesus
of Nazareth saw Lucifer and Ahriman fleeing, but he also knew
that because of such a community having been established, where
Lucifer and Ahriman could not enter and the Essenes wanted
nothing to do with them, they turned even more to the other
people. That was evident to him. Again it is completely
different when one knows this only through theory and when one
sees what individuals do for their own advancement and as a
consequence Lucifer and Ahriman are sent to other people
because they have been expelled from the presence of the
former. He realized that it was no path of salvation which the
Essenes followed, but was one which through separation and at
the cost of the rest of humanity only seeks their own
advancement.
An immense compassion engulfed him. He felt
no joy at the ascension of the Essenes, for he knew that other
people must sink lower while a few ascended. It all became
clearer to him when he saw the same image at other Essene gates
— there were more such communities — the image of Lucifer and
Ahriman standing before the gates but unable to enter — and
fleeing. Thus he realized that the methods and rules of orders
such as the Essenes' impelled Lucifer and Ahriman to the other
people. And this was the cause of the third extreme pain he
experienced concerning the decadence of humanity.
I already mention that his stepmother had
more and more understanding for what lived in his soul. So what
now happened was meaningful as preparation of the Mystery of
Golgotha: a conversation took place — according to research in
the Akasha Record — between Jesus of Nazareth and his step or
foster-mother. So advanced had her understanding become that he
could speak to her about the threefold suffering he endured
because of the decadence of humanity which he had experienced
in the areas of Judaism and paganism as well as the Essenes.
And as he described to her his lonely suffering, and what he
had experienced, he saw that it affected her soul.
It belongs to the most wonderful
impressions one can receive in the occult field to learn the
content of this conversation. For in the entire field of human
evolution nothing similar — I don't say greater, because
naturally the Mystery of Golgotha is greater — but something
similar one cannot see. What he said to his mother were not
words in the usual sense, but they were like living beings
which passed over from him to his stepmother and his soul gave
wings to the words with its own force. Everything which he had
so painfully endured went in this conversation as though on
wings into the soul of his stepmother — words of his infinite
love as well as his infinite suffering. So he was able to
describe to her what he had thrice experienced as in a great
tableau. It was then enhanced when Jesus of Nazareth gradually
steered the conversation to his conclusions about the threefold
decadence of humanity.
It is very difficult to put into words how
he summarized his own experiences to his stepmother. But as we
are prepared by spiritual science, we can use spiritual
scientific terms and expressions to attempt to describe the
sense of the conversation's ending. Naturally what I now say
was not expressed in the same words, but it will provide an
approximate idea of what Jesus wanted his stepmother to
grasp:
When we look back at the evolution of
humanity on earth, it is similar to an individual human life,
only changed in later generations, and unconscious for them.
The Post-Atlantis life of humanity revealed itself to Jesus of
Nazareth — that after the great natural disaster in Atlantis,
first an ancient Indian culture developed in which the great
holy Rishis communicated their vast wisdom to humanity. In
other words, it was basically a spiritual culture. Yes, he went
on, just as an individual human being is a child between birth
and the seventh year, in which different forces are at work
than in later life, so spiritual forces were active during that
ancient Indian time. But because those forces were not only
present until the seventh year, but extended over the Indian's
entire life, humanity was in a different stage of evolution
then. During the course of their entire life they knew what
today the child knows and experiences until its seventh year.
Today we think the way we do between the seventh and the
fourteenth and the fourteenth and twenty first years because we
have lost the childhood forces which are suppressed in the
seventh year. During that ancient time, because these forces
extended over an entire lifetime, which today are only present
until the seventh year, people in the first post-atlantic epoch
were clairvoyant. They rose higher with the forces which today
are only present until the seventh year. Yes, that was the
Golden Age of human evolution. Then came another age, in which
the forces extended over the entire life, which otherwise are
only active between the seventh and fourteenth years. Then came
the third epoch, in which the forces were active which
otherwise are active between the fourteenth and twenty-first
years. Then we lived in an epoch in which the forces which are
active today between the twenty-first and the twenty-eighth
years, were active during the entire lifetime.
Now we are approaching the middle of human
life, Jesus of Nazareth said, which is in the thirties, where
the forces of youth cease to grow and begin to decline. We are
now living in an age that corresponds to the twenty-eighth to
the thirty-fifth year of the individual person, where his life
begins to decline. Whereas in the case of some individuals
other forces are present, in humanity in general they are no
longer there. That is the great suffering, that humanity should
become aged, having its youth behind it, being in the epoch
corresponding to the twenty-eighth to thirty-fifth year. Where
should new forces come from? The forces of youth are
exhausted.
That is what he told his stepmother about
the impending decadence of humanity, which caused him so much
pain, for it was clear that humanity's situation was hopeless.
The forces of youth were exhausted, humanity now faced old age.
The individuals, he knew, would continue to live on from the
thirty-fifth year until death as before, because they retained
residues of the forces, but humanity as a whole did not have
that, so something else must come: what for the individual is
necessary from the twenty-eighth to the thirty-fifth year. The
earth would have to be illumined macro-cosmically with the
forces with which the individual must be illumined from the
twenty-eight to the thirty-fifth year.
That humanity as such was becoming old,
that is what is read in the Akasha Record and felt during what
Jesus of Nazareth related. As he spoke in this way to his
mother about the meaning of human evolution, at that moment he
realized that what he was saying was part of himself, and
something of himself flowed from his words, for his words had
become what he himself was.
That was also the moment when in the soul
of his stepmother flowed the soul which had lived in his
biological mother who — after the Zarathustra-I crossed over to
him from the other Jesus-child — had died and had lived in
spiritual regions since Jesus was twelve years old. From then
on she could spiritualize the stepmother's soul. Thus the
latter now lived with the soul of the Nathan Jesus-child's
biological mother.
But Jesus of Nazareth had united himself so
intensely with the words with which
he had expressed his pain about humanity, that it was as if
this self had disappeared from his life's [physical, etheric an
astral] sheaths, so that these sheaths became as they were when
he was a small boy — only impregnated with all he had suffered
since his twelfth year. The Zarathustra-I was gone and what
lived in his three sheaths was only what remained through the
power of the experiences. An impulse arose in these three
sheaths which led him on the path to John the Baptist at the
River Jordan. As in a kind of dream, which however was not a
dream, but an enhanced consciousness, he went his way with only
the three sheaths spiritualized and driven by the effects of
what he´d experienced since he was twelve years old. The
Zarathustra-I was gone. The three sheaths led him on, hardly
noticing what was around him. He lived, with the I gone, wholly
aware of humanity's destiny and its needs.
On his way to John the Baptist at the River
Jordan, he met two Essenes with whom he had often spoken.
Without his I he didn't recognize them. But they knew him and
therefore spoke to him: Where goest
thou, Jesus of Nazareth? What he answered I have tried to put
into words. He spoke in a way that they did not know where the
words came from. They came from him, yet not from him.
“There where souls such as yours do not wish to see,
where the suffering of humanity can find the rays of forgotten
light.”
Those were the words which seemed to come
from him. They didn't understand him; they realized that he
didn't recognize them, so they asked: “Jesus of Nazareth,
don't you know us?” Now even stranger words were spoken.
It was as if he had said to them: You are like lost lambs, but
I was the shepherd's son from whom you fled. If you recognized
me, you would flee anew. It was long ago that you fled from me
to the world.
The Essenes didn't know what to make of
him, for while speaking to them his eyes took on a very special
aspect. They seemed to be looking outward, then also inward.
They seemed like eyes showing an expression of reproach for the
people spoken to. They were eyes through which showed gentle
love, but a love which became a rebuke for the Essenes, one
which came from their own hearts. We can characterize what the
Essenes felt when they heard him like this: “What kind of
people are you? Where is your world? Why do you wrap yourselves
in deceptive robes? Why does a fire burn within you which is
not kindled in my father's house?”
They were silenced by these words. And he
spoke further: “You carry the tempters mark, who caught
you when you fled. With his fire he made your wool glisten. The
hair of this wool stings my eyes. You lost lambs! He has filled
your souls with pride.”
When he spoke these words, one of the
Essenes answered: “Didn't we show the tempter the door?
He no longer has anything to do with us.” Jesus said:
“When you showed him the door he ran to other people. He
attacks them from all sides. You are not elevated when you
debase others. You only think you are elevated because you let
the others decline. You remain as high as you are only because
you make the others smaller, so you think you are great.”
Jesus of Nazareth spoke in that way so the Essenes could take
note. It impressed them so much that they could no longer see.
Their eyes dimmed and Jesus of Nazareth seemed to disappear
before their eyes. But then, when he seemed to have vanished,
they saw his face from a distance, but hugely increased in size
like a fata morgana, and very, very far away. And words came as
though spoken by this fata morgana. They sensed them to be:
“Vain is your striving because your hearts are empty
which you have filled with the spirit which hides pride in the
cloak of humility.”
Then the mirage also vanished and they
stood there dismayed and depressed. When they could again see,
they saw that Jesus had gone farther away while they were
watching the face. And they could do nothing but be aware that
he had gone on. Despondent, they continued to the Essene hostel
and they never told anyone what they had experienced, but kept
silent about it their whole lives. And they became the most
profound of the Essenes, but they were silent and only spoke
when everyday understanding was necessary. Their brother
Essenes never knew why they were so changed. Until their deaths
they never revealed what they had seen and heard. They
therefore experienced the Mystery of
Golgotha in a special way. For the others though, what they had
experienced was imperceptible.
After Jesus had walked on for a while he
met a man who was in deep despair. But, as I said, Jesus was so
removed from earthly conditions that he didn't realize that a
man had approached him. And he had such a strong effect on that
man who was in such despair, that Jesus of Nazareth said
something which may be described as: “Where has your soul
led you? I saw you many thousands of years ago; you were
different then!”
The desperate man heard this as though
spoken from the approaching figure of Jesus of Nazareth.
Because of these words, the man felt the impulse to say the
following. On one hand he felt the need to speak, on the other
to find the answer to his destiny: “In my life I have
been highly successful. I always studied, and due to this
learning I rose higher and higher over other men. With every
honor I became prouder and I often said to myself: What a
unique person you are, rising so
high over your fellow men. I felt that my soul must worth more
than the souls of others. My pride
increased with every new honor. Then I had a dream. What a
horrible dream it was! While I was dreaming my soul was filled
with a feeling of shame. I was ashamed of dreaming such a
thing. I was so proud in my life, and now I dreamed something I
would never have wanted to dream. I dreamed that I asked myself
the question: Who made me so great? And then a being stood
before me and said: I made you great, I raised you high, and
therefore you are mine. I felt
scandalized at the revelation that I had not risen so high
through my own efforts, but that another being had been
responsible for my success. Still dreaming, I ran away. When I
woke up I really ran away, abandoning all my achievements. I
didn't know what I was seeking and so I have been long
wandering about in the world, ashamed of all the things which
once brought me such pride.”
After the despairing man had said this, the
being who had appeared in his dream stood again before him,
between him and Jesus of Nazareth. This dream figure blocked
the figure of Jesus of Nazareth. And when the dream figure
left, dissolving in mist, Jesus had also already moved on. When
the despairing man looked around he saw Jesus a good distance
away. And so he had to continue on his way in
despair.
Then a leper approached Jesus, one whose
disease and suffering was very advanced. And because of what
that soul was feeling, Jesus again was obliged to speak. He
said again: “Where has your soul led you? I knew you many
thousands of years ago, and you were
different.”
These words encouraged the leper to speak
in the same way they had affected the desperate man. The leper
said: “I don't know how I got this disease, it just came
gradually. And other people no longer allowed me to be among
them. I had to wander in the wasteland, could only beg for what
the people threw to me. One night I came close to a dense
forest. I saw a tree approaching me from a clearing. It blinked
at me with its own light. I felt impelled to get closer to that
tree. It urged me on. And when I was close to it, a skeleton
came at me like a light from the tree. It was death standing
before me in that form. And death said to me: 'I am you. I live
off you. Fear not!´ And it continued: 'Why are you afraid?
Didn't you love me during many lives on earth? Only you didn't
know that you loved me, because I appeared to you as a
beautiful archangel whom you thought you were loving.' And then
death was not standing there before me, but the archangel which
I had often seen and about whom I knew: That was the image I
loved. Then it vanished. The next morning I awoke next to the
tree, more miserable than before. And I knew that all the
pleasurable indulgences I had loved, which lived in me as
egotism, are related to the being
who appeared to me as death and as an archangel and who claimed
that I loved it and that it was myself. And now I stand before
you and I do not know who you are.” And now the archangel
appeared again, and then death, standing between the leper and
Jesus, blocked the leper's view of Jesus of Nazareth. When the
leper saw only the archangel, Jesus vanished, and then death
and the archangel vanished. The leper had to continue walking
and saw that Jesus of Nazareth had already advanced
farther.
Those were the events which occurred on the
path Jesus took between the conversation with his stepmother
and the baptism by John in the Jordan.
Tomorrow we will see how the these events —
the meeting with the two Essenes, with the despairing man and
with the leper — continued to affect Jesus of Nazareth's
physical, etheric and astral bodies when he barely understood
the world from which he was so detached, and were enlivened by
what he received with John at the baptism in the
Jordan.
If these events, which I have described as
having taken place between the conversation with his stepmother
and the baptism in the Jordan, seem unlikely or strange, then I
can only say: Although they may seem strange, they are truly
revealed by research in the Akasha Record. They describe events
which are as singular as they must be, for they are in
preparation for an event which can only happen once — what we
call the Mystery of Golgotha. Whoever does not wish to consider
the idea that something so special happened at that moment in
the evolution of humanity will find human evolution difficult
to understand.
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