99. EL, Berlin, 1-26-'12
Esoteric development must be different in different ages, otherwise
successive incarnations would be meaningless. But certain things
remain the same throughout the ages. For instance, we find that
Egyptian esoterics speak of: Arriving at the threshold of death, a
walk into the nether world, an experience of the four elements,
seeing the sun at midnight, and meeting spiritual beings face to
face.
We
can't explain all that's meant by this now, but some of
the simple things will be mentioned.
One
feeling that esoteric life can give rise to is that waking life seems
to be just a sleeping life. This is not a mood that we could
continually arouse in us, and it should never be our intention to let
certain momentary esoteric moods spread out over our whole life. If
we did that we wouldn't be fit to do our duties in the outer
world. To be sure, as an esoteric sees nature's kingdoms around
him, he should occasionally experience a mood of longing to press
through to what lies behind them, to true reality, to what
we're striving for, and compared with which all ordinary sense
impressions have no more value than those from sleep. One who wanted
to live in such esoteric moods all the time would have to withdraw
into a kind of a monk's life. But that is not the kind of
esotericism for which Rosicrucianism strives. One who would like to
withdraw like that would have to be aware that he acquires certain
privileges with respect to his fellow men, so that he can thereby
prepare himself for several lives in the outer world, but that if all
men wanted to live like him, no progress in human evolution would be
possible.
Our
exercises are designed to bring us into the spiritual world, but
through inattentiveness we often don't notice the progress that
we make thereby. One can arrive at the feeling that we make very poor
use of the forces of thinking, feeling and willing that are poured
out in us, but that in our present condition it would be impossible
for us to lie in that thinking, feeling and willing — it would
shatter and destroy us. Ancients called the feeling of standing
before an experience that wants to overpower us: The arrival at the
threshold of death. For there one felt: what I'm experiencing
now I can't master with my thinking, my feeling or my willing;
now I know what it feels like to have died. Most of you have probably
gone through this many times. It's due to inattentiveness that
one isn't aware of this. During meditation one will have often
had the feeling that one was absent for a moment, and then when one
come back to oneself, one thinks: I was sleeping. If one took the
trouble to find out what one went through in such moments, one would
sense that maybe they were the most tremendous experiences that one
ever lived through.
Another
experience is this one. It doesn't have to come after the first
one. One can get the impression that the second experience is the
first because one slept through the first one. One has the feeling
that one is sitting in one's body, that one is carrying it with
one. Just as one can distinguish a weight that's attached to
one's arm from the arm muscles, so one learns to feel that
one's arms are weights that one drags with one. Then one can
have the feeling that one is sitting fettered in a nether
world — not corporeally, but psychically all the more. This is
what they called going into the nether world. In one's
exercises one then feels as if one was paralyzed and then as if
lukewarm water was being poured over one.
One can
also have the feeling that the bad thoughts that we have are not just
thoughts but are something real. If we thought something bad about a
person we see this like a shooting arrow that can inure the
person's soul more than a physically shot arrow could hurt his
body. As soon as we see what we do, thereby, we notice that the arrow
flies back at us an burns us like fire, as if we were in the
netherworld's flames. This is the so-called going through the
elements. It doesn't have to be seen as a vision, one can feel
it on oneself as if one had burn wounds all over one. When we feel
like this, we, as it were, send forces out of our etheric body which
however can only go to the boundary of our aura. There they meet the
cosmos' forces working everywhere in this surroundings that
make these forces turn around and direct them to certain centers
where they bring out super-sensible organs. It's as with
physical eyes that were formed out of indifferent organs by light. As
long as light worked on them, one couldn't see yet. This only
became possible when they were finished. Likewise we can only use our
higher organs after we've built them up in the described way.
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