121. EL, Muenchen, 11-28-'12
Today
it's my duty to speak out of my occult experiences about the
progress that we make through our exercises. Someone may do his
exercises correctly for years and is also able to create that quiet
that's indispensable if thoughts, feelings or visions are to
enter our soul as a result of meditation, and may yet have the
feeling that he's at the very same place that he was at the
beginning. But this is not so. The main thing for an esoteric is for
him to pay attention to his soul life, for this is so intimate that
one's attentiveness must be very great if one wants to perceive
anything.
If
after doing our meditation conscientiously and well, we, for
instance, wash and dress ourselves, our consciousness is devoted to
this activity. Then we may have the feeling that: I did my things
quite mechanically now; my thoughts weren't with them. And when
we reflect on what our thoughts did, we can get a feeling of a quiet
dream, as if it wasn't we who thought — it was as if what
passed through our soul had thought in us. When we observe something
like this, we increasingly get the feeling that something happens in
us to which we can apply the mantric words: It thinks me. If
we say or think these words in everyday life whenever we have a quiet
moment, we'll find that they help and promote us in our soul
life. But we must strictly observe one thing. When we say or think
them to ourselves, a feeling of piety will arise in us, and we must
connect this feeling with it every time we say the words. It would be
wrong if someone didn't say the words at all so as not to say
them with the wrong soul mood; instead, one must practice connecting
them with the feeling of piety each time. Then we get the feeling
that what thinks in us is related to the I, that the sublime beings
who gave it to us are thinking in us. This is clarified for exoterics
in our third mystery drama in the words: In your thinking world
thoughts are living.
A
second word that's mantric and that can help us if it's
used correctly is It works me. We know that all the
hierarchies work in us and through us, that we would be nothing
without them, and so it's good to become increasingly clear
that we're their work entirely. This is in the mantric words:
It works me. We should think and say them with a feeling of
holy devotion and shy reverence. In the Bhagavad-Gita, that sacred
text, we have a conversation between Krishna and Arjuna that
graphically tells us that we should do our duties and yet keep a
feeling for the Gods' work alive in our soul. No other sacred
text, no Christian one either, points to this in such a way. Krishna
says: “You should be a warrior, priest or merchant, depending
on which caste you belong to, and do your work conscientiously, for
your destiny has placed you in your activity. But you should stand
over your work with your I and feel that you're connected with
the divine.”
A third
word arises from the feeling that we must acquire when we make it
clear to ourselves that forces stream into us out of the whole world
space, that we get our head from here, our limbs from there, all our
organs from various sides, and that they're also directed from
there. We express this in the mantric word: It weaves me. We
should always say and think this with a feeling of deep thankfulness
when we return to our physical body in the morn by saying: I'm
returning to something that I didn't weave myself; I
couldn't become conscious again if you, Father Spirit,
hadn't created my body for this, and I thank you for it in shy
reverence.
We can
do our meditation in such a way that we get the feeling: I'm
not thinking it — it thinks me. Just as we dive into our bodies
to become conscious in the morn, so we must dive down into something
at death to get a consciousness — and that is the Christ.
That's what the verse tells us: Ex Deo nascimur — in
the morning we dive down into the physical body through the Father
Spirit; in Christo morumur — at the portal of death we must
dive into the Christ-Spirit; Per Spiritum Sanctum
reviviscimus — to come to life in the Holy Spirit.
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