From the Contents of Esoteric Classes

123. EL, Zuerich, 12-17-'12

When one wants to meditate, one must order oneself to exclude all thoughts and to only have the soul content of the mediation in one's soul. After that, soul quiet must set in, emptiness must begin, and then wait to see whether something flows in from the spiritual world, wait with patience and perseverance. Then one may have an experience that's like a dream that flits by. Then one has the feeling: “Something is thinking in me,” “An angel touched me,” “I raise myself into his kingdom.”

Our relation to our thoughts is like that of an angel to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit doesn't think like we do — he lets his angels rush through the world as his messengers.

Such an experience is the first step into the spiritual world, and one should watch for it.

One should feel and experience: It thinks me with piety.

One can now raise oneself further to the divine principle that vitalizes and weaves through the world and to which we owe our existence. Then one has an experience such as: It weaves me.

Thereby, we touch the hem of the clothes of beings whom we call Spirits of Movement.

Even in ordinary life, we must dive down or bump into something in order to develop consciousness. We bump into our physical body and wake up. We also bump into something after death, into Christ-substance. We must wake up in it, dive down in it to become aware of the spiritual world, so that we're not asleep there.

But having consciousness doesn't mean that one has ego-consciousness yet. We also have consciousness in the experience that something thought in us, but it's only when we remember that something has thought in us that we connect the experience with our ego.

So we lose our ego at death, and we dive down dead as a soul to find ourselves and to gradually become conscious in the Christ-substance.

Then we come to sublime beings whom we feel we should call Thrones or Spirits of Will, and the mantra for this is: It works me. Here one should feel reverence and devotion.

If we have a luminous moment in the spiritual world we see our body down below, but it takes a high stage of vision to see it as in a mirror. At the beginning of such experiences we see an image of a coffin with a man in it, or a bathtub filled with hot water, or we stand before a door that doesn't open. All of these images are in the physical body that doesn't let us in.

When we experience the image that we're looking at our physical body down there, and that we're born out of the divine-spiritual world, then we express this in the words:

Ex Deo nascimur.

When we imagine how we dive down into the Christ-substance to die, then this is:

In Christo morimur.

And how we reemerge from the trickling water in a fine body and move up into the spiritual world:

Per Spiritum Santum reviviscimus.

Notes from memory of 120 [123] esoteric lessons that Rudolf Steiner gave in 1904-1912 and meditation texts and exercises he wrote down in Aus den Inhalten der esoterischen Stunden, bibl. No. 266, vols. 1 and 2.