EL,
Leipzig, 1-2-'14
What
every esoteric is heartily interested in is success for his
meditative efforts. Everyone is successful, even if he doesn't
notice it. Budding esoterics often complain about pains. These pains
are disorders that arise in the body because the physical and etheric
bodies aren't in the right contact with each other. These pains were
already there before, except that the man hadn't felt them since he
was coarser and more robust. He feels them now as an esoteric since
he's finer and more sensitive. An esoteric must learn to bear such
pains. Of course one has to know whether or not the disease should be
treated.
Why is it
that one knows one's physical body so little? Because one lives
in it and only perceives it with one's feelings. One sees with one's
eyes and so one can't observe them. Once an esoteric gets to the
point where he withdraws from the physical with his soul and spirit
he'll be able to observe his physical body. We're helped to do
this if we concentrate our thoughts on a point as much as possible
and then immerse our self in this point and live in it for awhile. A
strengthening of thought power occurs through such concentration and
thereby one can gradually get to the point of observing one's
physical body.
Then we
must become familiar with our etheric body. This is more difficult,
for the etheric body does not have a skin like the physical body
— it's a fine tissue that sends out its streams everywhere into
the outer world and it's imprinted by everything that goes on in the
outer world, often without the man's knowledge. One learns to
feel the etheric body by doing the second auxiliary exercise.
It's outer impressions that ordinarily drive a man to act. He sees a
flower on a meadow, and he stretches out a hand to pick it because it
pleases him. But as esoterics we must get to the point of doing
this or that out of an impulse that we give ourselves. Then one
will see that it's the etheric body that induces the hand to move.
One feels that one's etheric body awakens in this way. Through this
awakening etheric body one gradually learns to experience
oneself in an etheric world. Every time I grab something or bump into
it this is really an attack on the outer world. A non-esoteric has no
inkling of this for the Guardian of the Threshold protects him from
this knowledge, but an esoteric makes his etheric body increasingly
independent so that it experiences itself in the etheric
world. His organs get finer and he gets the feeling that spaces
aren't only filled with physical objects but by countless elemental
beings who make themselves noticed through bumping, pricking and
burning. One must make room for oneself everywhere in this elemental,
etheric world by stretching out, withdrawing, pushing, striding
forwards, etc., and such movements must occur with the full
consciousness that one wants to make them out of one's own being.
That's the second thing: initiative actions. One without an
initiative will who can't make room for himself in the etheric world
can do just as little there as one who wants to dance on a stage that
has chairs standing all over it. The chairs must be removed
first. That's what one learns in the spiritual realm through the
second exercise. We must do just the opposite to become
aware of our astral body. We must
hold back desires that are living in the astral body, we must develop
equanimity with respect to them. We must create absolute calm in us.
Only then do we feel the outer astral world bumping into our
inner astral world. Just as we bump into the etheric
world by reaching into it by ourselves in our will, so we feel
the outer astral world by remaining quiet in ourselves, by
quieting all wishes and desires. Before the astral body gets to this
point it stuns itself with a cry. We know that pain arises when the
physical and etheric bodies aren't in the right contact with each
other. The astral body feels this as pain. A small child cries when
he feels pain. He tries to drown out the pain by crying. An adult
might say “ouch.” If a man could let his pain stream
completely into the sound's vibrations changes would arise in the
etheric body's formation through sound oscillations so that he
would become unconscious and feel no pain. But the good Gods
made men weaker, and that's good, otherwise there would be no pain
and also no articulated speech. An esoteric must get to the point
where he can bear pain and everything else that's stimulated in him
from outside with equanimity. Then he won't attack the outer world,
but it'll attack him. Since he has developed complete calm the
attacks only touch his physical and etheric bodies, and the astral
body remains untouched. It becomes free and one can observe it. So I
get to know my astral body through the equanimity exercise. Finally I
must also get to know my ego. I can't feel my ego, because I'm living
in it. That's why we must pour it out into the world. I become
familiar with my ego through what we call positivity. If we look at a
rotting dog's beautiful teeth like Christ Jesus did then we don't see
the ugliness, but we dive down so far into everything that we arrive
at the good. Thereby we get away from our ego and can observe it. The
ego is love and will. Through the developed will we get to know the
substance of all things that originate in the divine world.
Through love we learn to experience the essence of things. Thus
through will and love we press forward to cognition that's free of
the personal ego. As a spiritual ego we learn to dive down into the
being and substance of all things that come from the spiritual Father
ground; that includes our own ego. Our ego looks at us from all
created things. The pupil attains the swan stage when he can
experience that. At the fifth stage we develop spirit self or manas.
There we mustn't cling to what we previously saw, heard and learned.
We must learn to ignore all of that, to receive what approaches us as
if we were completely emptied of previous things. Manas can only be
developed if one learns to feel that everything that we acquired
through our own thinking is of little value in comparison with what
we can acquire when we open ourselves to the thoughts that stream in
out of the cosmos that was woven by the Gods. Everything that
surrounds us arose from these thoughts of the Gods. We hadn't been
able to find them through our previous thinking. The things
concealed them for us. Now we get an inkling of the divine
that's behind everything like a hidden riddle. We begin to see how
few of these riddles we had fathomed. And we find that we
really have to remove everything that we've learned so far from our
soul, that we must approach everything quite open-mindedly, like a
child — that the divine riddles that surround us are only given
to the open-mindedness of the soul. The soul must become childlike to
be able to press into the kingdoms of heaven. Then hidden wisdom or
manas streams towards the childlike soul like a gift of grace from
the spiritual world.
A man
doesn't have to go further, since he makes contact with the spiritual
world through these five stages. Through continual repetition of
these five exercises a harmony of interaction between the
various capacities that are to be attained through them
must now be produced. This is brought about by the sixth exercise.
These
exercises are of the very greatest importance. A soul can find its
way into spiritual worlds through them. You'll find references to
these five exercises everywhere in the books and lectures. And no
esoteric class would have to take place if everyone read them
attentively and awakened the forces of these exercises to life in his
soul. They serve as a support for the specially given exercises.
An esoteric
must be very attentive even to the smallest things. He must observe
everything conscientiously in a quite different way than it's done in
the physical world, as soon as he approaches spiritual worlds.
For things in the spiritual realm are much more subtle and fine than
in the physical one. That's why an esoteric must keep on doing these
exercises and repeatedly rouse himself to new efforts and
observations, for otherwise he can't get insights into the spiritual
world. And an esoteric must especially be patient. Many people think
that after they've exercised for a short time they should then get
into the spiritual world, that all portals to it will be open
to them. But just consider that a significant impulse or idea takes
19 years to be inwardly well grasped and understood. If an
esoteric thinks that after some exercising he'll soon be mature
enough for entry into spiritual worlds, then it's as if a child who'd
just learned to speak would say: It's boring to have to wait for
years until I become a man. I want to be a man right away.
Another
thing that one has to learn in esoteric life is truthfulness. One who
hasn't already learned it in physical life will have a lot of
trouble in his ascent into the spiritual world since he must leave
his logical thinking and everything that's connected with the
intellect behind, and he's not corrected by facts in the
spiritual world as he is here in the physical world. The
good Gods wanted to educate man to be truthful when they placed
him in the physical world, where every lie — that is,
everything that doesn't correspond to the facts — is corrected
by facts. The inclination for truthfulness can only be acquired in
the physical world and not in the spiritual one. Finally an esoteric
must try to habitually acquire a good memory. The etheric body is the
preserver of memory, but without the physical body it wouldn't
be able to preserve it very well. The nerves get an impression and
this must be written into the physical body. The latter is as
it were the recording apparatus for what a man wants to retain. And
when he wants to remember something he penetrates the physical body
with the etheric body to the place where what's supposed to be
remembered is inscribed, the memory picture becomes alive and
the man reads it from the physical body. Students repeat something
they have to memorize until it has been inscribed. Then it may
happen that when they for instance learn: “There stood a castle
so high and grand” ... they press it forcibly into the physical
body with the help of the sounds.
Such
inscribing and reading must become habitual in the sense that it
becomes an inner habit to permeate all of one's deeds with
attentiveness and reflection.
One can't
use the physical body as a memory organ for spiritual experiences;
habitual activities must replace it. We must summon the nuance of
feeling that belongs to this before our soul.
The
content of what flows to a meditator when he makes himself empty after
a meditation — also of the meditation's influence — is a
matter of merit. A meditation will never be the same twice. What
flows to us will depend upon our morality, love of truth, and on how
we've lived since the last meditation. If we didn't remain entirely
truthful or if we've let anger or aggravation arise in us, then
nothing from the spiritual world can stream into us. We get what we
deserve. If we trace these things attentively we'll always find the
reason why we weren't graced with the spirit in some untruth, in some
surging up of anger, or the like.
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